Friday, September 17, 2010

The Return of Supergroomer

The Supergroomer believes that I can lift and move nearly everything I encounter, dogs and furniture especially. She is responsible for my getting stuck on the stairs with a full sized mattress, although I have to say that I could have made it all the way up if the mattress had had a decent handle in a reasonable location.

Since Supergroomer scorns assistance, I have picked up many big dogs without help. I have found that with good form, most dogs can be lifted onto the table or into the tub. I actually tend to lift almost all dogs this way, regardless of their size. Standing perpendicular to the dog, facing its side, I will bend my knees and squat. I reach one arm under the dog’s chest, between the front legs, and place my hand on the shoulder. The other arm reaches under the dog’s abdomen, between the hind legs. I hug the dog to me closely to prevent wiggling and stand up, keeping the dog’s spine level. It is important to bend the knees and not deadlift the dog. It is also vital to avoid twisting and turning. For the dog, a level and close to the body hold will keep them calm and safe.

Beware a panicky dog who still attempts to wiggle and flip around while you are holding them. The torque can cause you to twist your spine. A “helper” dog can also give a little hop, jarring your spine or giving you an accidental headbutt. A very well-behaved dog will often offer to put its front feet up on the table or tub edge. If the dog cooperates and doesn’t change her mind because she thinks it’s funny, you can lift up her back end. Remember to bend your knees.

When I lift or carry a particularly big dog in this way I usually hear a chorus of, “No wonder you have a bad back!” It is true, I do suffer from sciatica and pinched nerves in my shoulder and neck. I would like to point out that the neck and shoulder issues actually come from scissoring and brushing. The sciatica is entirely my son’s fault. I did not develop my back problems until I was a pregnant groomer.

The horrible hormones of pregnancy cause a woman’s joints and ligaments to loosen up and, I suspect, mutate. (I did not enjoy pregnancy, not one little bit.) Loose joints were combined with the lifting, bending, stretching and twisting that normally accompanies grooming, but now occurring with a belly in the way, and the ever increasing weight of my son bouncing happily on my sciatic nerve. One of the most miserable experiences of my pregnancy was not with a large dog, but sitting hunched over my belly trying to groom two tiny little Yorkshire Terriers that I couldn’t quite reach. I ended up with quite a painful back problem that did not abate once my son was born. I tried chiropractic care and it did help somewhat, but I decided to reduce the number of large dogs I was grooming.

On a day when I was running the mobile grooming business and my son was about two years old, I stopped by to have lunch with him at my mother’s house. I bent to pick him up, a little sideways I guess, the way you do when you are going to swing the child up on to your hip, and WHAM! Something snapped in my low back. I actually managed to carefully put my son back down, and then I hit the ground in considerable pain.

Because Supergroomer believes in keeping a stiff upper lip, rub dirt on it, keep the blood flowing, and all that stupid stuff, I finished grooming my scheduled dogs for the day. I’m not sure how, because the mobile vehicle had quite a big step up to get in the back. I went home, took many pills and went to bed. The next day I could barely move. I couldn’t groom for about a week. I could barely do anything for about a week. I couldn’t get in and out of the truck. Going to the bathroom required a serious commitment because it hurt so much to sit down and get up. My husband offered to get barbeque tongs so that I could pull up my pants. I got stuck in our big claw-foot bathtub because I couldn’t make the big step out.

Grooming is very hard on the body and mind. Supergroomer makes it harder. I really have learned from my experiences though I still lift big dogs and my son, who has grown much larger. I listen to my body, and try to keep it strong and fit with yoga, running, and strength training. And I buy a lot of Advil.

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